Saturday, April 30, 2022

Ramadhan Mubarak

 Alhamdulillah, we have reached another Ramadhan this year.

Insya Allah we will face next year, amiin.

I think I had this Ramadhan going rapidly. We went to Indonesia for 2 weeks in the early Ramadhan. Alhamdulillah, we had our tarawih and ate sahor on the first day in Indonesia. It was a luxury as we had not had a chance to return home since 2020.

This Ramadhan is very different for me. I have a new role and responsibilities. I have new responsibilities which are barely understood at the first time. And we are so busy making this project happen. We are still in the middle of the delivery. But I learned a lot of things, and hopefully, I could do better and more robust than now. This is my first project.

Previously, I managed my project as a product developer as well. This is a different situation as, currently, I have to work with the stakeholders and the developers from various parties. It is challenging yet worthed. 

Alhamdulillah, I could have more things to do in this Ramadhan. I hope to become a better person in the next Ramadhan, better as a human being and professional. I hope all I have done and will do will become good deeds. Amiin.



 Just read a book about psychology,

something is interesting in this book. This is based on the background and inner child experience. After I saw the incident in the Grammy Award when someone slapped a Stand up Comedian while he was roasting this actor's wife. It relates to the feeling of the inner child (based on a psychologist column)

I was in a scenario about achievement. I do always remember that achievement is the number one priority in our family, or at least that is what I understand from what my mother said. However, there were positives. Maybe that is why I pursued my Ph.D. So, I have some inner child that I have recently become aware of. This internal child background forces me to do more in education level. Which is I believe it is a good reason and it is a good cause. 

The one trade-off that I realized that mental health. I do like compliments and praises. I always love how people praise my work and like my work. That becomes the minimum threshold for my happiness. Unfortunately, we could not make everyone happy with our work. Everyone has a different mindset model and taste. So, I was in my low form when I did my Ph.D. when I did not know what happened and what should I do. It was the lowest point in my life, I think.

But alhamdulillah, I went through it. I was able Allah gives me a perfect support system. I had supportive supervisors, surrounded by fabulous friends and a caring family. 

And this may happen again sometimes, but Alhamdulillah, Ph.D., was the lowest point. So now I have a mindset that failures are good things. We could learn, and we could thrive from the losses. This book also suggested I forgive myself and other people. I have to realize that I am good enough, that my work is good enough. If someone does not want it, it is their problem. I promise to try to fix it towards the expectation, but I cannot promise it will be straightforward. I do need steps and a learning curve. Hopefully, this journey will shape me into a better me. Insya Allah. Amiin